F-ing Cancer

Finding myself Waiting for the boarding door to open this morning, I read of a fellow LOA member losing a son to cancer, what a terrible tragedy.  It causes some reflection and a desire to understand such things.  How do you help someone cope?  I’m not sure it ever goes away.  People react differently.  I have tears of sadness from old feelings.

Traveling early today, I find myself running from the sun.  Air travel always brings new perspectives for me and usually a time of reflection as I gaze out on the world from my window seat.  I lost my Mom to cancer, from diagnosis to death in 8 weeks.  That came about 8 months after my dad went 15 years ago......F-ing Cancer!

But the death of a child is less normal.  My brothers son was lost after a car accident at just 16 years old.  It wrecked his family of 6.  Matthan was the third born of four, as I am too.  He was the only passenger in a car crash who never woke up and the driver a friend who just walked away scratched.  They unplugged Matthan a few days later.  I still have the sounds of the church funeral Ava Maria and the image of three policemen with motorcycles saluting as the hearse entered the graveyard.

That was many years ago now and with time I think the pain lessens.  Or son is Matthew, who was named first!, but I’m sure it reminds a bit when my brother reads or hears the name of a cousin so close in years and similar in name.  There is no reasoning maybe, only the good die young?  Not really.

Losses to cancer and bouts with cancer are life changing events.  After my parents died, we became less connected with the business we created and travelled a bit more.  Important things change.  After my bout with the C, we changed a lot.  While you survive (hopefully), I don’t think you ever leave it behind due to the fear it may be back in one form or another.  Body pains are suspiciously different!

But we are alive and moving forward.  What else can you do?  Encourage others!  Share perspectives.  There will always be people worse off and better off than you.  Do what brings you joy and share.  Balance with due compassion for those toughest of times that invariably come with life.

And by now the sun has caught up with us, but we are in a gloom under the clouds.  One more flight and then we chase the sun over the horizon into the jungle.  Spend some time with good friends, raise a glass to someone I never knew and toast the life we still have to live.

Enjoy Every Sandwich!